miss you

it's been awhile
never thought that i'd miss you
hope you'd feel the same,,, :)

Stuck!

Hari ini melelahkan,,, mentally and physically,,,
Lelah mental karena dari kemarin ditelponin kanan kiri, dimintain report kanan kiri
Lelah juga karena siapin mental ketemu bos gede, hehehe,,,,
Lelah mental karena mo ada inspeksi rig, gw ada di tengah-tengah antara lapangan dan inspekturnya.
Belom lagi banyaknya tamu, yang pada konfirmasinya ke gw,
walo gw di luar kota tetep aja harus urusin mereka
Lelah fisik, karena hari ini muter-muter dari 1 kantor ke kantor lainnya
Haha hehe ama orang-orang itu
Ngadepin bapak-bapak yang kaya kucing dikasi pindang
In times like these, gw berharap bos gw segera balik dari trainingnya
Coz kalo ada dia, distribusi kerjaan lebih jelas

Gw ga mau nyalahin tim gw
Tapi ada aja ya yang ga kooperatif
Yang ga peduli ama kerjaan di kantor
Yang kalo lagi dinas ga mau tau urusan di Cepu
padahal gw ngegembol kerjaan kemana-mana
bawa laptop, modem, etc.

Like today,,,
I'm stuck in one coffee shop, di pojokan, nempel ke colokan
Eh laptopnya ding yg nempel colokan, bukan gw, ehehehe,,,,
Ngerjain pe-er yang harusnya dikumpulin siang tadi
(Mahapkan sayaaaaaaa telat bikin)
Ngerjain pe-er yang harusnya dikerjain bapak tak kooperatif itu
Karena dia lagi dines luar kota
(Errrr kayanya gw dines luar kota juga yak)
Karena gw ga tega ngelimpahin ke bapak yang di Cepu
Kerjaan dia juga udah banyak
Termasuk ngehandle kerjaan si bapak tak kooperatif itu
Selain itu, pe-er ini menyangku hajat hidup orang banyak
Jangan sampai kru gw ga gajian gara-gara kaga ada yang urusin di tim gw

Kenapa gw belain cengkri di coffee shop ini?
Coz I  need a high doze of coffee, biar otak gw ga lemot
Juga karena gw mo ketemuan ama temen gw
I really need to talk to a friend right now
so I can keep my sanity here,,,, X_X

Yang lagi meeting, cepetan yaaaowwww,,,,,

The things you'd do for love

Gara-gara baca Antologi Rasa nih.
Novel yang ditulis Ika Natassa, seorang banker, juga penulis.

Awal bacanya males-malesan, tapi ternyata sekali baca, ga pengen brenti.
Ceritanya tentang 4 orang sahabat, Harris, Ruly, Denise, Keara.
Harris suka Keara, Keara suka Rully, Rully suka Denise.
Denise? Not happily married.

Gw ga bakal cerita detailnya, yang pasti semuanya ngikutin kata hatinya.
Melakukan hal-hal bodoh demi cintanya dan orang tercintanya.
Seperti punya playlist lagu-lagu favorit si tercinta di ipod, walau bukan seleranya.
Bangkrut demi beli tiket pesawat dan tiket nonton F1 di Singapura cuma karena diajakin si tercinta.
Mengikutinya melakukan hobinya, walau sepanjang jalan dikacangin.
Membelikan bubur ayam setiap pagi, cuma biar bisa sarapan bareng.
Well, the things we would happily do for love. even the stupid one,,, :)

Hari ini juga membahagiakan, kabar baik dari beberapa teman.
Ada yang lamaran, ada yang lagi mempersiapkan hari H pernikahannya, ada yang sedang hamil.
Gw merasa ikut bahagia, karena sedikit banyak gw tau cerita mereka.
The things they had done for their love.
And seeing their happiness makes me happy.
Dan tentu saja berdoa, hopefully my time will come.
If you'd only knew the things I had done and I would do for love, hahaha,,,, ;)

Selamat ulang tahun, bapakkuuu,,,

Bapak ulang tahun ke 58 hari ini :)
Selamat ulang tahun bapak,
Semoga bapak sehat selalu, bahagia selalu dan senantiasa dalam lindungan Allah SWT
Maafkan Rizka ya pak, belum bisa kasih kado yang paling bapak inginkan
Semoga bisa segera Rizka penuhin :)
*peluk erat*

Be Patient!

Akhir-akhir ini gw ngerasa suka ga sabaran
Ah tapi dari dulu gw jg gitu siy, hehehe,,,
Utamanya sejak tinggal di Cepu
Entah metabolisme gw yg terlalu cepat
Atau emang semua berjalan lambat disini

Gw ngerasa ga sabar nungguin admin gw fotocopy
Ga sabar nungguin kasir indomaret ngitung kembalian
Ga sabar nungguin lampu merah jadi ijo
Ga sabar kalo ga dibbm si ****
Ga sabar kalo kru ga selesein tugas dari gw

So I'll learn to be more patient,,,
Hhhh,,, emang ilmu sabar adalah ilmu yang ga kalah susah ama ilmu ikhlas.
Orang sabar pantatnya lebaaar,,, eh disayang Tuhan ding,,, hihihi,,,

Sometimes

Sometimes I run, sometimes I hide
Sometimes I'm scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right
Be with you day and night
Baby all I need is time

Sometimes - Britney Spears

Sent from my iPhone

Being Independent Is Not Good (?)

i took care of myself because i had to
there's no way i count on my parents anymore to pay my meals, my bills, my needs
that's why i work, took a job that sucks, make some money
to pay my meals, my bills and my needs
i make a decision by myself because i had to
who else will tell me what to do?
just do my best to survive this life,
and then people called me independent.

but somehow, from some point of view, being independent like that is not good
coz i don't seem to need anybody else
coz men will feel insecure and threatened around me

hadeuuuuu,,,,, rempong bener yak idup gw?
begini salah begitu salah
but i do not choose to be a common man
i'll live my life the way i wanted it to
not only to boost men's ego
coz either way, i'm still the one who have to pay my own meals, my own bills and my own needs
men, if you feel threatened by this, than you're not man enough for me

The Little One

Her name is Meutia, and she's beloved daughter of Teh Nila and Harris.
She's a healthy and happy little girl, you can tell by a glance.
She smiles and laughs easily.
I met her for 3 days only, but already falling in love with her cuteness.
Look at her, isn't she as cute as a button?

The most amazing thing is to see the world through her eyes. How simple thing can be a great thing, just because she said "wooooow" with her eyes wide open. And when she asked you a simple question but you just don't know how to explain it to her. And when she asked you to follow her dancing, imitating the elephant, chicken, bird, train, etc. It kinda change my perspective. You see the world through the eyes of 2.5 year old girl, and it looks brighter and more beautiful. You see the good things, the playground and the adventure. The world becomes a better place.

Dear Meutia,,, maemnya yang pinter ya sayaang, biar cepet gede, jadi anak pinter dan sholehah, berbakti ama mami dan ayah, berguna buat agama dan Indonesia. Aamiin,,,

Reflection

Whoopsy!

And year 2011 will end in a week.

Time flies so fast,,,

I guess 2011 is a working year for me, just like 2010,, *sigh*

And as much as I curse it, I kinda enjoy it. Maybe I'm a bit of workaholic. There were times when I spent my weekend at the office and the office felt like my second home. I just brought my iPod along, and there I was, working on my weekend. Kinda stupid.

The struggle in Cepu was getting harder. Challenges and disturbances came so often. Till at some point, I thought enough is enough. I was just getting sick and tired here. It's time to find my Emergency Exit. Call me a quitter, but for those who said that, you just don't know what it's like so shut your mouth. 

I'd like to think that I choose my own way of life and my happiness. I do not choose to be a common man. I won't stay just because the prestige, luxury and money. I want to take the leap of faith, having some adventure, developing, content and happy. Because it's my right to do so. 

The good thing about this year is having great friends. I finally found friendship with my colleagues here in Cepu. It's a blessing in disguise. I have friends for almost every activity. Friend to bake a cake, friend to play tennis, friend to go to gym and jogging, friend to sing along, friend to have dinner with, and mostly friends to have a good laugh and deep conversation. Those are people who made my stay in Cepu is becoming more bearable and fun.

About my 2011 resolution, ohohohoho,,, I haven't done them all. Only 1 thing for sure, I finally hired a financial planner . So I can manage my assets and liabilities in the right direction. The funny thing about this is I found out that the hardest part was determining my financial goals. What do I want to do? What do I want to have? After I could figure it out, the rest was easy. 

And the most fun of 2011 is that I accomplished some of fun activities. Yaaay!!!

On January, I've travelled to Singapore with Indah, went to interesting places, including Universal Studio Singapore. It was wonderful experiences, as we've travelled alone and getting lost in some places. 

On June, I've travelled to Yogyakarta alone. Completely all by myself. Stayed in a boutique hotel, enjoyed javanish atmosphere and culture. I went to Keraton, Tamansari, Ullen Sentalu Museum and I watched Sendratari Ramayani on Prambanan. The last one was a great show ever and the stage background was Prambanan Temple.

On August, I went Omra for the second time with my family, Sari and Mariesa. It was a spiritual journey that I'll never forget. My first Omra was amazing, but this second one was memorable. I was enjoying my every moment there.

On September, I went to Linkin Park concert in Jakarta with Indah & Rhino. That was my second time watching their live show. Hopefully not the last one. 

For the closure,,, so what's next? What do I want to do for 2012? Do not ask about work thingy, it's obvious that if 2011 was a crazy year, than 2012 will be a CRAZIER one! And I should figure out my Emergency Exit as I'll have paid all my dues on next January 2012. But as I found out that my passions are music, food and travelling, I'm expecting to have more travel experiences in 2012. To an interesting, exotic and great places. An eurotrip maybe? Hopefully,,,

 

Anyhow I'm excited for 2012. As it will be a crazier year than 2011 already is, it also will be a year filled with hope and expectation. I'll try my best and let God do the rest. So help me God.

Happy New Year, you all,,, ☺ 

XOXO,

Kaka

This Ramadhan,,,

I feel blessed,,, so blessed and gifted,,,,

This weekend I went home to Jember. Rhino was going home too. Mom & Dad invited orphans from our neighbourhood to break fasting at our house.

Looking at those little kids, so brave, so pure, so innocent, so happy,,,, I was speechless. My heart just melted. Some of them don't have a father to support their lives and to take care of their family. Some of them don't have a mother to love them. Some of them even don't have both father and mother.

I guess I've found the answer of my dilema, the question I've been asking for lately. If I had to work my ass off, working hard like there's no tomorrow, only to help them, to ease their worries away, to support them, to give them a happy childhood like I had,,, I'm more than willing to do so. I'll be gladly to do that.

I guess I just need a reason to stay at this company. Not only for the salary, the facilities, the luxury, the prestige that I got, not only for me nor my pride, but also for those kids. The more money that I make, the more support that I can give them.

If only I could frame those little happy faces, and keep them in my mind. All I want to do was hugging them, told them that life will be hard, but they don't have to be afraid, that they will be okay. Somehow I found strength in their smiles.

Subhanallah,,, maybe this is Ramadhan's blessings. Once again, Allah SWT works in a mysterious way,,,

Para Pencari Tuhan

Gw ngikutin sinetron ini  sejak Ramadhan 2 tahun yang lalu. Gara-gara Sari siiiih,,,hihihi,,, tiap sahur bareng nontonnya ini. Jadi deeeh ikutan nonton. Ternyata bagus juga kok. Semua yang kita temui, kita lihat, kita dengar sehari-hari, terangkum di sana. Dan semua tokohnya juga riil, ga ada yang baeeeeeek banget or jahaaaat banget, kaya tipikal sinetron-sinetron Indonesia.

Misalnya, Pak RW sebagai pimpinan yang ga amanah. Tapi kadang yang dia omongin bener juga, ga selalu salah. Atau Ustadz Ferry, yang panutan warga sekitar, tapi kalau ada ujian keimanan, sempet ragu juga dia. Namanya juga manusia.

Anyhow, Ramadhan kali ini, walaupun ga sahur bareng Sari lagi, tapi gw tetep nonton Para Pencari Tuhan. Karena ceritanya yang ringan, mengingatkan tanpa menggurui, menyindir walau secara tidak langsung. Mungkin juga karena sebenarnya gw salah satu dari mereka, para pencari Tuhan. Dalam semua ketidakpastian dalam hidup, dalam semua masalah yang kita hadapi, kemana lagi kita harus memohon bantuan?

But don't take it the wrong way, doa bukanlah ban serep yang dapat kita keluarkan saat dalam masalah, tapi kemudi untuk menunjukkan arah yang tepat. Ketka Tuhan memecahkan masalah kita, kita memiliki kepercayaan pada kemampuan-Nya. Tapi ketika Tuhan tidak dapat memecahkan masalah kita, Tuhan memiliki kepercayaan pada kemampuan kita. Paragraf terakhir ini gw contek dari bbm group (bukan gw mendadak bijaksana bijaksini yaaaa,,, :D ). Tapi menurut gw, ini bener bangeeet,,, and i just wanna share it to you all,,, May God bless us and be with us in every step that we take. Amiin,,,

Live My Life to The Fullest!

attention : this is my first blog post on 2011

so the 2010 chapter is closed, guys,,,,
now we're entering the new chapter, 2011.
how i love dividing my life into chapters or episodes, hahaha,,,

i love marking my way in this life, usually on my birthday and new year
it's kinda good for me
so i can evaluate what had happened, setting next goals, dreaming the next impossible dreams and starting to make those dreams happened

sadly to say,,, 2010 was working year
i was working my a*s of, till i couldn't think of anything else
i was working on weekdays, weekend, and even on my annual leave
i was attached on my desk, my office, my work

okay, i had some achievement at work
but i kinda failed in my personal achievement
i had plenty of unread books
i haven't renewed my TOEFL score
i haven't apply for any abroad scholarship
i still can't drive a car
i haven't had my eurotrip, us trip or any other trip that i dreamt of
and more over, i am still single on my 30, hehehe,,, :D

but i'm not gonna regret the year 2010
i still had plenty of things to be thankful for
i am thankful that my parents are healthy and happy on thier retirement year
i am thankful that my brother bought Bluey and still being the best brother in the world
i feel blessed for having tons of friends and thankful for their friendship
you know who you are,,, :)
i am thankful that i started to have friends here in cepu
and many more

on year 2011, i plan to live my life to the fullest!
so when i look back at 2011 one day, i can say "2011 is an awesome year!"
here's what i want to do in 2011 :
1. i want to visit my parents more often and be a better daughter
2. i'm going to spare my time to read books each day
2. having some trips to see the other side of this world, hopefully an eurotrip *cross my finger*
3. renewing my TOEL score
4. applying, scholarship or new job, hehehe,,, considering Jan 2012 is only a year away!
5. having fun, fun, fun, FUN!
6. join a driving course so i can finally drive a car
7. start to have a financial planning and making some good investment, maybe start a business
8. i am so gonna married this year, no matter what! amiiin,,,,

well, let's review that list again next year

next week i am going to have my first trip in 2011 with @iindadah. we're going to visit @wulanwicaksono and @ninovsnino. i'm so excited. maybe this is a good thing to start 2011. the year that i live my life to the fullest! :)

Kamu

Kalau saya boleh meminta,
Saya ingin kamu memiliki selera humor,
Yang bisa membuat saya tertawa sepanjang hidup saya,
Yang bisa membuat saya tersenyum saat sedang mengalami bad hair day,
Yang bisa membuat saya melupakan kesedihan saya.

Kalau saya boleh memilih,
Saya ingin kamu juga suka baca buku dan koleksi buku,
Sehingga kita bisa membahas buku yang sama,
Sehingga kita bisa saling menceritakan isi buku yang sedang kita baca,
Sehingga kita bisa punya perpustakaan bersama,

Kalau saya boleh meminta,
Saya berharap kamu dapat memahami selera tontonan saya yang aneh,
Bahkan menemani saya menontonnya,
Mulai dari film komedi romantis yang sooo cheesy,
Film horor yang selalu saya tonton dengan mendekap bantal,
Hingga film detektif dan thriller mengenai serial killer.

Kalau saya boleh memilih,
Saya ingin bertemu kamu sekarang,
Tapi saya percaya Tuhan punya rencana yang lebih indah,
Tuhan sedang mempersiapkan saya untuk menjadi yang terbaik buat kamu,
Begitu juga sebaliknya,
Sehingga saat kita bertemu, we'll be very thankful for each other.

Jadi dimanapun kamu berada,
Semoga Tuhan senantiasa bersamamu,
Melindungimu dalam setiap hal yang kamu lakukan

So I guess I'll see you when I see you,
Hopefully soon,,, :)

merindu,,,

melihat liputan haji akhir-akhir ini bikin gw kangen ama mekkah dan madinah.
it's not like i've been living there for years,,,
i've been there for 7 days only, 3 days in madinah and 4 days in mecca.
yup, cuma umrah siy,,

tapi liat liputan haji kali ini, bikin gw merindu kedua kota itu.
melihat jalanannya, bangunannya, suasana kotanya, dan tentu saja masjid nabawi dan masjidil haram
oh i really missed those days, wanna come back there
ingin merasakan kembali kedekatan ama Allah SWT
ingin merasakan berada di kota tempat Nabi Muhammad dan sahabat-sahabatnya pernah berada
dan yang paling utama, ingin merasakan kembali perasaan "pulang ke rumah"
siapapun gw, tak peduli dari mana gw berasal or apa yang udah gw lakukan,
disana gw merasa sama dengan semua orang, merasa diterima dan disambut
diperlakukan sebagai tamu Allah

duuuuh,,,, merindu sekaliiiiiii kembali ke sanaaa,,,, ya Allah, berilah hamba kesempatan kembali ke rumah-Mu ,,, amiiiin

masjid nabawi setelah subuh

kota madinah

depan masjidil haram

ka'bah

are you happy?

on one of our regular night, dalam hal ini maksudnya lagi ngemil, nonton tipi and baca majalah, yuni tiba-tiba menyadari sesuatu,,,, "waah bentar lagi kamu ultah mbak, 30 tahun!! bagaimana perasaanmu? are you happy?"

hmm,,, truth to be told, it took me seconds to finally answer, "yes, i'm happy. why wouldn't i?"

i was kinda annoyed with this thing. not because i'm almost 30. or because yuni asked me that question. but because it took me seconds to decide that i'm happy. geez,,,is my life that pathetic?

well,,, i blame my job for this one. my job sucks. whose doesn't anyway? hehehe,,, but mine, it is irritating, unhealthy, got me grumpy all day, even at night,,, i'm sick with all those paperworks on my desk, uncooperated people at the office, and all that crappy thing i have to deal with. oh i just wanna get my a*s out of here,,, yes, maybe i am not happy.

but what is happiness anyway? i always thought that happiness is only a state of mind. it is us who decided at the end of the day whether this was a good day or a bad day. and it's not easy to stay positive and choose the good day everyday.

maafkan akan keluh kesah saya kali ini. hanya sedang merasa kesaaaaaal dan sebaaaaaaal. my dear God, if it is possible, i wanna take another turn in my life. right here, right now, right away. please.

counting my blessings

i know i am a grumpy girl,,, complaining about this and that
always found something is wrong, unsatisfied, even sometimes it sounds ungrateful
it brought me  negative spirit

lately i heard couple of sad news
my friend's mother passed away
my other friend's sister had cancer and the doctor just gave up
she's just waiting her time

those news made me thinking
i am lucky enough to be alive and healthy
and so is my family, my beloved parents and brother

and then i started to count my blessings
my job is pretty good
well,,,it is not easy, but i make a damn good living with it
i am almost thirty years old,,,and still single
i want to meet my soulmate and get married soon
but maybe God has a bigger plan
maybe God give me a chance to do anything that I want before I committed to someone
so instead of feeling sad, i intend to do "anything" that's possible
so i bought a ticket to singapore, together with indah
it's going to be our adventure
maybe after singapore we could take a huge leap to europe,,, :)
amiiiiin....

anyways,,,,moral of this posting is,,,
i want to be a grateful person
someone who is content, fulfill and thankful for everything
i will keep my positive mind
i will cherish this moment with all that i have
and i will keep my eyes open,,,
just in case my prince charming is around,,,, :)

Dua strip garis

Seorang teman mengabarkan bahwa alat tes kehamilannya menunjukkan dua strip garis pagi tadi!!!

Oh my,,,what a great news! Mengingat semua yang telah dialaminya, semua yang diusahakannya, semua yang diharapkannya, semua kegigihannya dan semua kesabarannya.

Tanteeee,,,,berharap semua berjalan lancar untukmu dan mas Teo,,, Semoga hasil pemeriksaan dokter sore ini membenarkan kabar gembira ini. Amin,,, Happy for you mbaaa,,,,,

when you feel alone against the world

sebulan terakhir ini gw sering banget ke luar kota.... ya dinas, ya cuti, dan seringnya ke jakarta, ato seengga engganya mampiiir.... :) dan kalo ke jakarta, pasti dijadwalin ketemuan ama temen ato sodara. temen ex mdpers, temen sma, temen kost dulu, temen kantor satrio, ayu, ade iyan.

somehow....it made me happier...
somehow....it made me realize one thing...
kalo gw ngerasa sepi dan sendirian di cepu.

i don't have a crowd there. people to hang out with. friends to share with. all i have is colleagues. and i feel alone against the world. lonely.

heuuuuuu.....kayanya gw harus nyari pacar niy.... :D

Resah gelisah

Merasa resah gelisah akhir-akhir ini,
Entah kenapa,

Hmm,,,mungkin perlu mengalihkan perhatian dan pikiran,
Ke proyek baru ama @missunita dan @wulanwicaksono,,,, ☺
Oh inspirasi,,, datanglaaaah,,,,

Aku Ingin

Aku ingin mencintaimu dengan sederhana,
Dengan kata yang tak sempat diucapkan kayu kepada api,
Yang menjadikannya abu

Aku ingin mencintaimu dengan sederhana,
Dengan isyarat yang tak sempat disampaikan awan kepada hujan,
Yang menjadikannya tiada

"Aku Ingin" oleh Sapardi Djoko Damono

Puisi yang indah, dalam dan bersahaja,,,